shot in the ass

we all know how treating my sacroiliac joint injury holistically turned out. if you’re new here, you can catch up on this epic fail here. so tomorrow i’m going all western medicine on this shit and having an injection into my joint. or as my daughter succinctly put it “a shot in the ass.” provided it doesn’t fucking snow too much that it gets cancelled or the roads are impassable. fucking snow is ruining my life. in preparation for the injection i’ve had to stop taking my prescription anti-inflammatory and all medicines that affect blood clotting. this hasn’t made patty a happy girl.

imagine no advil after a friday or saturday night.

and i’ve had increased joint paint.

if i’ve made these sacrifices for nothing and this thing is cancelled due to snow, i’m going to go ballistic.

to say i’m a bit anxious is an understatement. i’ve had weeks of anticipation since this was the first appointment i could get due to the holidays and my doctor’s two week trip to italy.

plus, i have to get this thing done while awake. read: aware.

a big ass needle into my ass and i won’t be sedated!

the doc has to use x-ray guidance to direct the needle into the joint. like this:

then BAM! she injects a contrast dye to make sure that the medication only goes into the joint. what if she motherfucking misses?

after that she injects a small mixture of anesthetic and cortisone into my ass. small mixture? she clearly has no idea of my tolerance for medication. i’m conditioned, punkers. shoot me up hard. i don’t want to go through this again.

so the question isn’t whether i take a xanax before the procedure. the question is do i take a .25, .5, or 1 mg xanax. (when stockpiling, it’s important to keep different dosages for every occasion.) mr. punker has to drive me home after the procedure, so i’m pretty sure tomorrow will be 5 mg xanax afternoon.

i’d much rather have a little twilight anesthesia in my IV, but still . . . don’t ya love a girl who can self-sedate?

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