Lately i find myself saying, “it’s just an aberration, i swear.” a lot. which is really contradictory.
i was pulled over for not wearing a seatbelt and got a ticket. it’s just an aberration, i swear.
when pulled over, i couldn’t find my car registration. just an aberration.
i overdrew my checking account the second month i was on my own. aberration.
i’ve overslept three times recently (i refuse to use an alarm unless it’s absolutely necessary) abb…
i didn’t get the last three jobs i’ve interviewed for. fucking bullshit.
i deleted a critical email at work that i told myself i must save because i’ve had to forward it at least 3 times.
i lost my first dry cleaning ticket.
now some of you might be saying, that’s a whole lot of nothing in the big scheme of things. and i know that none of these things are like putting the baby carrier with the baby in it on top of the car then getting in the car and absentmindedly driving off. but these incidents are very out of character for me. normally i’m extremely anal. organized. detail-oriented. safe. responsible (except for those times i allow myself some unrestricted fun, we’ll call those deviations ”being irresponsible with control”).
i think it’s time to get my shit together. i’m not very focused or disciplined these days.
or maybe not. maybe i’m finally letting go. unpuckering. not sweating the small stuff. going with my natural biorythyms. not giving a shit if i don’t continue to work in corporate america. maybe i could finally take some risk with my career. maybe becoming a bubblehead will be good for my creative spirit.
they say that every cell in the body is changed over a period of seven years, and we humans experience emotional, physical and mental changes that occur in seven-year intervals. so it could be that i’m in some kind of evolutionary spiral. it could also mean that based on my cellular age, i’m around 7 years old. (this makes total sense from a maturity sense).
anyhussy, i say, bring it.