Wooing Boys

“Come on, I’m kinda drunk… and you’re kinda attractive,” John murmured in my ear.

I burst out laughing as he stumbled over an apology.

“I didn’t mean that, you know what I meant,” he slowly uttered, his inability to think quickly confirming his ‘kinda drunk’ status.

I pushed his arms away, still bent over laughing and ran towards the couch.

“What are you doing?” Lindsey politely inquired as I rifled through her purse.

“Your phone, I need your phone, I need to write something down so I don’t forget it,” I breathlessly exclaimed, still laughing.

I exhaled loudly at entering John’s words into Lindsey’s phone, relieved I’d remember and be able to share them with the world come morning.

John was still standing behind me, trying to apologize desperately but lacking the ability to utter more than slow drawls.

“I didn’t mean it, you know I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry.”

“No,” I responded, “don’t be. That’s hilarious, I’m going to tell everyone I know.“

“Ugh, you think I’m an asshole.”

“Eh, not really. You’re definitely going to look like one in posterity though.” Just the thought of it caused me to once more start hysterically laughing.

Not long after John got up off the couch, grabbed his coat, and walked out the door.

While John may have left our lives, I’ll always be grateful he left in his wake the ultimate pick-up line.

Now you all know what happened next,