I woke up this morning with a brilliant post idea. “Finally,” I thought, “something that’ll be hilarious and informative!” Then I hit my snooze button and went back to sleep, only to have Tragedy strike in the night. Or vaguely-early morning, which, really, is even more appealing to Tragedy (he likes to sleep in too). …

In the cold winter months I mourn, slowly driving by Gerald the Groundhog’s home, knowing he’s hibernating and won’t prance out of his hole to see me. Now his twins taunt me too, so close, yet thanks to groundhog behavior, so far. They didn’t even pop up and wave hi on Groundhog’s Day. And it …