Only One Includes A Drug Reference (3 Stories About Jeff)

1. “Looking back on it now, it’s strange we weren’t on drugs,” I responded.

Meredith, Jeff’s girlfriend, had been telling me about his upcoming trip to see a band known for playing instrumental “stoner music.” I commented that he’d always been into such songs and shared memories of countless nights freshman year of college when we’d all gather on his dorm bed and stare at his computer. He had a program that made crazy visuals out of music and we’d spend hours watching it.

This is only one of many of my life experiences that would make more sense if I’d been high.

2. “Play hot cross buns!” we yelled.

For our Tuesday night talent show (now on Wednesdays) Jeff had brought over a guitar to instruct us and we required he first play a tune. (Hot Cross Buns was originally my request, as it was the only song I ever mastered on my childhood instrument, the piano.) Jeff had actually brought not one but three guitars. He taught us about different chords and the importance of fretting and how not to drop the guitar.

I especially needed help with that last lesson.

I have been good friends with Jeff for seven years. He has apparently played the guitar for ten.

Before this week I had no idea he played at all.

I can’t decide if that says more about me or him. I’ll let you know.

3. “Are you going to put pepperoni in the middle of that Oreo?” Anna asked.

“Yes,” Jeff responded.

And then he did.

Jeff is


completely trustworthy

quite into video games


terrible at responding to emails

the only one of my friends to major in something useful


and culinary-ly adventurous.