There is no laziness rehab. Despite the myriad of conditions which can now be alleviated with a month’s visit to a private facility, there’s no place for the lazy gal to turn. So though I tell myself that next year I’ll be better, next year I’ll plan ahead and cross people off my organized gift …

Just when I start thinking I’m normal, Christmas gift exchanges demonstrate I’m not. But then, it’s pretty silly I start thinking such things. Every year since high school, I’ve attended Robby’s Christmas party. Well, not the year I ditched his anti-homecoming party to attend homecoming. I wasn’t invited that year. But every year since then. …

Other families have Thanksgiving traditions. They gather together to eat turkey, watch a sports game and reminisce. But my family has its own tradition. Every Black Friday, since I was a young girl, my mom and I would shop. Then one year Skye joined in. And our shopping cadre was complete. Rising before dawn, stopping …

I have no Thanksgiving plans. Skye might try and host her own again. I might go over and help her cook a vegetarian meal using the only pot her mom owns. Or I might stay home and watch a parade or two. My family doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving. The story why is 80% boring, 17% not …

“Salmonella.” That was my first thought when Anna started to fall towards the lake. I’m not exactly sure why, but I’m suspicious it has something to do with a profound ignorance of diseases and their various methods of transmittal. My second thought was, “should I try and save her?” At this point there’s no purpose …

Last weekend, I memorized I Am The Very Model of a Modern Major-General. If this seems random and useless to you, let me defend my time use by saying my friends have instituted what can best be described as a weekly talent show during our Tuesday night get-togethers. (To avoid confusion, I should clarify that …

1. “Looking back on it now, it’s strange we weren’t on drugs,” I responded. Meredith, Jeff’s girlfriend, had been telling me about his upcoming trip to see a band known for playing instrumental “stoner music.” I commented that he’d always been into such songs and shared memories of countless nights freshman year of college when we’d all …

The World War II Memorial is one of the few monuments available for easy bathing. Not that you should do that. At least not the fully-immersed form usually conjured by use of the word “bath.” Though if you take baths by splashing your feet in a shallow, man-made water hole, then it will be a …

I woke up this morning with a brilliant post idea. “Finally,” I thought, “something that’ll be hilarious and informative!” Then I hit my snooze button and went back to sleep, only to have Tragedy strike in the night. Or vaguely-early morning, which, really, is even more appealing to Tragedy (he likes to sleep in too). …

In the cold winter months I mourn, slowly driving by Gerald the Groundhog’s home, knowing he’s hibernating and won’t prance out of his hole to see me. Now his twins taunt me too, so close, yet thanks to groundhog behavior, so far. They didn’t even pop up and wave hi on Groundhog’s Day. And it …