Did I ever tell you about the time I forgot to stop pet sitting? I was at work when I got the call. “Hey… so you know I’m home, right?” No. I hadn’t knowN. If I had, I certainly wouldn’t have left my junk strewn all over the house and the dirty laundry sitting in …

If you knew me in high school, there’s a seventy percent chance you associate me with livestock. It started with an inside joke between me and Sharon that through some strange, now forgotten, series of events, ended with me owning two bankers boxes full of gifted cow paraphernalia. Growing up in the D.C. metropolitan region, …

Is it better to be followed and then unfollowed than never to have been followed at all? Oh yes – I’m getting all philosophical on this blog today. I ask this because the web management program I use for Best of Fates’ feed, FeedBurner, is probably secretly run by my arch-enemy. That is obvious both …

It has been far, far too long since I held a What Was I Thinkin’ contest. (If you need the translation, that means I can’t think of anything to write about.) (If you need that translated, it means I can think of tons of things to write about, but am too lazy to actually do …

Can you really stalk family? Or is it simply an unhealthy amount of interest from afar? Family members don’t let family members live in private – that’s their raison d’être. This is especially true when gathered together. I spent the weekend in Michigan with my cousins. You’d think they’d appreciate my photographic enthusiasm. Strangely, they …

I’ve never particularly planned out my children’s future; I always assumed I’d wait until they were born to do that. But lately people, partially inspired by Tina Fey’s dreams for her daughter (as told in her recent book), have been sharing their hopes and fears concerning their female progeny and I just hate to be …

Firecrackers, rivers dyed green, elves in pointy shoes, eggs hidden (and subsequently lost) throughout the house – there are many magnificent traditions that sustain America. Yet those holidays pale next to the ultimate superiority of Valentine’s Day. 1. Shot Through The Heart, And You’re To Blame America has a rich arrow history. There’s William Tell. …

Picture the scene: two gals, a bottle of wine and not an opener in sight. In other words, it was a tragedy waiting to happen. But Allison had recently seen a YouTube video she thought could help. In said video a man opens a bottle by hitting the bottom against the wall until the cork …

Some people spend Christmas Eve in front of a roaring fire, cozying up to loved ones, chugging egg nog – I spent mine in jail. Not that I was behind bars. Rather I was witlessly wandering about outside them. Don’t fear – the cops have yet to nab me for stalking woodland creatures. Rather I …

There is no laziness rehab. Despite the myriad of conditions which can now be alleviated with a month’s visit to a private facility, there’s no place for the lazy gal to turn. So though I tell myself that next year I’ll be better, next year I’ll plan ahead and cross people off my organized gift …