For Sarah’s 5th Birthday we had a big ole party. I invited her entire preschool class of nine kids and all our friends kids. I made it a drop off party on a Saturday from 1 o’clock until 4 o’clock. Yeah, go ahead. Laugh it up. I wasn’t worried about it being crazy because it’s not like everyone you invite actually comes to the party. Right? Right? I ended up with 14 five year old’s running around the house. I also decided that we’d do crafts. Because boys love crafts. Not so much. Thankfully it was a gorgeous day and we were able to throw the kids outside. I also begged/bribed/drugged two friends of mine into staying and helping out.

So! Here’s the fun part! We have the party games, the food, the cake, the presents. All the parents come and pick the wee ones up. All the parents but one. He’s wandering around while I sweep, and really, he is absolutely no problem. But it’s late and I need to get the kitchen cleaned up. So I tell him and Sarah to go into the front room and I’ll turn on the TV for them. He says to me, “Great! Can we watch Family Guy?”

Uhm, WHAT?

My neck cracked, it spun around so fast.

“What show?” I asked — and calmly. I was thinking I must have heard wrong. Come on, he’s five. There is no way he knows Family Guy. But he quickly said, “Family Guy! Can we watch it?”

I sputtered something and ended it with, “Uhm, our TV doesn’t get Family Guy.” He said, “Oh, my TV gets Family Guy every day. Huh.”

And of course Sarah is all, “What’s Family Guy??!! I wanna watch Family Guy!”

At the beginning of the school year, when I saw this boys mom, I wasn’t real friendly with her. I didn’t want to be her friend. I can’t tell you why, exactly, without sounding all snobbish and well, bitchy. But when she dropped her son off at the party she stayed for a few minutes and we chatted. And I thought, “See, maybe you were being quick to judge. Back off, Kim.”

Then her son pops off with this. Later, I call my sister in law, Elaine, who I’ve mentioned before. She’s dealt with kids and friends and moms. I tell her how I felt I was being all judgey, but now . . . well. Family Guy?

And she says, “Not judgemental. Instinctual”

Ahh.

Between moms who drop their kids off at random strangers homes and inappropriate TV shows, what are we supposed to do? We can’t keep them locked up in a bubble, no matter how wonderful that sounds at times. I’m starting to feel like I’m a very over protective parent. I never thought I’d be like this. Even after Violet was born I thought I’d be relaxed. Then we met . . . people. And I love people. I’m a people person. But now I want to run background checks, google, sanitize, check references and research their family tree before I let my kids play with them.

I don’t know. Am I alone in this?