I am a fantastic cook.

(Assuming you judge cooking based on the number of hilariously embarrassing gaffes made per dish.)

(You do, right?)

But of all the things I make, there’s one item I’ve got down – buttercream icing.

While I still have to glance at the recipe every few steps, I’ve made the icing so many times that there’s some muscle memory.

(Other people work out.)

(I stir.)

(Only I actually use a mixer most of the time.)

(So I observe stirring.)

When I needed to bring a dessert to a work function, cupcakes seemed the obvious choice.

Though I’m pet sitting, I brought most of the ingredients (already measured) over.

Except salt and vanilla extract – those I just planned to steal.

It was at this moment I realized I halved the home ingredients.

My original recipe makes enough icing for 2 bazillion cupcakes (roughly), so Skye came up with the idea of halving the recipe a few months ago.

No, I never once considered doing it myself.

That’s why I have Skye.

But somehow, in the confusion of sedately mixing ingredients, I completely forgot to halve the amount of salt or vanilla extract.

Did you know there is absolutely no solution for that?

Except for adding potato.

Then I figured, my coworkers love salty and sweet.

Right?

It was then I realized I didn’t bring over cake batter.

(Yes, I make homemade icing but use cake from a box. It all stems from a traumatic cupcake incident when I worked for the construction company.)

Frantically searching through the pantry, I discovered a mix for red velvet cake.

I’ve never made red velvet cake, never even eaten it, and was worried about how it would taste with buttercream icing.

But then I remembered my motto, “eh, why not?”

Then I spilled sugar all over the kitchen.

Just ’cause.

Halfway through icing the cupcakes I remembered – I didn’t assume I’d use 2 ingredients from the house – I planned to use 3.

Distracted over the salt/vanilla crisis, I never added milk, the last ingredient.

My secondary motto is, “if it’s not edible, make it pretty.”

That’s when sprinkles came into play.

Pay no attention to the cupcake under the sprinkles.

Surprisingly they weren’t half bad.